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Tracy McMillan: The Spiritual Aspects of Love

Tracy McMillan: The Spiritual Aspects of Love

Update: 2018-09-0558
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Oprah sits down with relationship expert Tracy McMillan, author of "Why You're Not Married...Yet," to talk about the spiritual path of relationships and the self-destructive behaviors that can hold people back from finding meaningful, authentic love. In 2011, Tracy published an article in The Huffington Post titled "Why You're Not Married." The piece went viral, becoming one of the all-time most popular articles on the site. Through her trademark humor, Tracy shares what she believes are the spiritual aspects of love, and explains why our ability to love ourselves is key to loving others. Tracy also opens up about her morning ritual, her favorite way to unwind and what most inspires her.

Comments (3)

Janet Ross

my opinion is I think your totally wrong about the way you go on about and think about men and how you chase after them ! I am coming up to 56 years of age I have been married once but I have had long term relations. mine never worked out because of the way they treated me and me for who I am did not stand for it so it was bye bye to those men.! Don't get me wrong but they did treat me well but it was how they were and not me ! They all loved me and I know that because they would come back crying real tears begging me to have them back saying and this is all of them ( when I say all I mean 5 of them ! ) I will change I promise I love you Jan please ! it is because of my first true falling in love and not the puppy love when you think you love someone so much at such a young age I am talking about real love which is totally different from puppy love he damaged me he beat me up and messed around with dirty women who would just go with any man and my man slept with those kind of women but it was only when he had had a skin full of alcohol ! 11 years I put up with him all because when sober you could not of found a better man ! he was loving caring done everything for me he did . As the years were passing by I was feeling all mixed up you see I never did him any wrong at all while I was with him and yet I was getting all confused and mixed up ! the reason being I knew he was such a good loving caring man and he would do anythingfor me he would also give me anything I wanted but yet I used to ask my self ! why does he act so evil when he's had a drink yet be so nice to me when he hasn't ! well those 11 years had taking it's toll out on me as I had more bad times than good ! the bad took over the good in my calculation and by God did it..! so in the end I found the guts and the bravery ( as I was so scared of him ! ) to tell him it was over ! well that was it I done it I was free I felt so alive and I could feel positive energy run through my body ! it felt strange but good ! yes he came back I would not let him in to my home he was at my front room window begging me crying his eyes out really sobing aswell but I couldn't except it but inside of me it was hurting me so bad but I just had to stay strong and protect my self and my children ! he offered me all of his wages too but no ! I said I don't want your money just go before I get the police on to you for smashing my window ! he went and when he did I fell to my knees absoulutley heart broken i was because that man was my love my soul my everything but he treated me so bad I just couldn't do it anymore ! I am a woman who likes to have her own independence I like to do the things I like doing yet I never ever and still have not messed any of those men about ! what they see with me is what they get and been in that relationship for so long really did teach me a lot ! 27 years later I have had 4 other boyfriends out of those 4 I married 1 of them ! well guess what he started to beat me up ! he never got the chance to do it again after only 5 months of marriage as I got rid of him straight away ! never to take him back again either ! well the other 3 they had different ways of meanings but they were not what I liked even though they would all give me anything I wanted they all did treat me well but it was what they did that put me off them so I got rid ! To say you have to have a life get yourself out there live it up and you might just find that right 1..! I am going to be totally honest and tell you I only met 1 of those men when I went out clubbing ! the others I met just by being on my front in the garden or just talking to a friend that's passing by ! what I am saying is you don't have to go out on the town to look for any man ! I have never ever had to go anywhere really just been on my front step I met those men accept for 1..! I don't go looking for love ! no man or woman should go out and about looking for someone to love and for them to love you back ! love comes to you if you wait it might take weeks months even years but in the end live comes to those who wait and I am witness to that and I believe that it is true about what it says ! I have been single since 2016 I have some man bit a younger man who is besotted with me ! but he's so insecure and has lost all his confidence and has no self esteem ! he is so good looking and yet he thinks that I am too good for him ! he is such a nice kind young man ! but his jealousy and his paranoia stops me from been with him ! I have told him to grow up and come back as a man like you were in 2014 ! you have gone back over and how your acting like a child ! I won't take any shit from any man !! I am my own person yet I am loving caring loyal and faithful to the man that I let into my life ! they all realise that when they have all messed up and lost me ! I am single and I am not out looking for love if it happens it happens but I will not go looking ! all my friends tell me I am still so pretty and if I go out clubbing I could still get any man I wanted ! but that is not for me ! I will just continue to wait until god sends him to me j7st like he did the others ! but un fortunately he just keeps sending me the wrong ones ! he knows they are all good men and he knows just what kind of a woman I am , he also knows they have some slight problems and because if the way I am with my man he must think I can sort out those problems and make them better men ! but it has not happened ! so I have said to god please god don't send me any more men who have slight problems as you should know by now Lord that it just dose not work I tried but obviously they did not change ! so please now my Lord I am getting older and I now need a man in my life so I can enjoy been with him and be with him toll the day I die ! it dosnt matter if relationships do not work as to me they are not meant to be ! if it was meant to be we would not have problems in our relationships ! it is a challenge and a test and when you finally pass that test you will then get your man without even looking for him as he will come to you !! ,;) ..so come on godI must have past by now please make me a very happy woman :) and give me my soul mate :) ...!!

Jan 10th
Reply

Nikolia Badster

wow I actually got chills from this conversation. I'm in a healthy loving relationship now , married happily. But I recognize and the part of myself that I worked so very hard to heal would absolutely resonate with the toxic detached behavior mentioned here. Keep up with this amazing work . This is honestly one of the first times I listened to Oprah shows. Unfortunately , I feel in line with so many that have dismissed the work of "talk show host" I apologize to Oprah and myself. Oprah and many others are our modern day healers. I realize we can only heal ourselves , but sometimes we all need someone to help show us the way ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oct 21st
Reply

Marie Neely

This was an awesome podcast. Thank you for being so open and honest Terry. May God continue to bless you and keep you.

Sep 11th
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Oprah Winfrey: “The Path Made Clear”
On a special edition of “SuperSoul Conversations,” Oprah Winfrey presents her new book, “The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life’s Direction and Purpose,” featuring some of the most profound insights and Aha! moments. In this follow-up to her New York Times best-selling book “The Wisdom of Sundays,” Oprah shares her own key lessons and the personal stories that helped set the course for her best life. Hear from luminaries and trailblazers in a wide array of fields share the life lessons that helped them find meaning and purpose in their own lives: A.R. Bernard, Sue Monk Kidd, Shefali Tsabary, Elizabeth Gilbert, Caroline Myss, Brian Grazer, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Tracy Morgan, Sister Joan Chittister, Wintley Phipps, Shauna Niequist, Wes Moore, Amy Purdy, Adyashanti, Steven Pressfield, Iyanla Vanzant, Michael Singer, India.Arie, Gary Zukav, Michael Beckwith, Carole Bayer Sager, Janet Mock, Brene Brown, Barbara Brown Taylor, Marianne Williamson, Brother David Steindl-Rast, Shonda Rhimes, Jay-Z, Eckhart Tolle, Joe Biden, Tracy McMillan, Glennon Doyle, Stephen Colbert, Thich Nhat Hanh, Gloria Steinem, Jimmy Carter, Lynne Twist, Bryan Stevenson, John Lewis, Cicely Tyson, Jordan Peele, Trevor Noah, Jeff Weiner, Goldie Hawn and Elizabeth Lesser. If you are feeling stuck or at a crossroads, wondering if there is more to life, “The Path Made Clear” provides inspiration and guidance to help you discover not only who you are, but who you are meant to be.
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Tracy McMillan: The Spiritual Aspects of Love

Tracy McMillan: The Spiritual Aspects of Love